Cockneys, Zombies & Care Homes... Oh My!

11:26 09 November 2012

Cockneys Vs Zombies poster art

Cockneys Vs Zombies poster art

Archant

Imagine, if you will, Guy Ritchie making a zombie film. I know it’s hard but just try to imagine what it would be like. Now if that thought gets you all excited I have great news for you... It’s exactly like that.

Warning: Trailer contains quite a lot of swearing and ultra violence, as you would expect.

They should have just called it Lock, Stock & 2,000 Hungry Zombies and be done with it.

The plot: (what little there is of it).

Two inept brothers (Rasmus Hardiker and Harry Treadaway) and their not-so-inept cousin (Michelle Ryan) team up with two other misfits (Jack Doolan and Ashley Bashy Thomas) to rob a bank. Mid-robbery a zombie outbreak happens and high jinks ensue.

It isn't quite the A-Team. If I was to give them any type of classification they would be nearer to the middle of the alphabet - if not the end.

Their reason for embarking on this endeavour in the first place? For two of them the answer is simple: Money.

But for the brothers and cousin this isn't a matter of financial gain for themselves. They are doing it to ensure financial security for their granddad and his friends who are being kicked out of their retirement home (almost instantly this tells you which two members of the team are 'disposable').

Simple eh?

The absolute highlight of the film has also got to be the slowest chase scene in film history with old Hamish (Richard Briers) on his Zimmer frame trying to 'outrun' the shambling un-dead in the retirement home garden.

PS A little argument broke out in my family after watching this film over what film was better - this or Shaun of the Dead. I staunchly argued in favour for Shaun of the Dead but the rest of the family argued against. Zombie Philistines, the lot of them.

Summary: Crude but fun.

7/10

Trivia: Alan Ford has also 'starred' in a film called Strippers vs Werewolves - I must hunt this down!

Latest Stories from SNAP.PA

The stars of Derek say the Channel 4 show polarises opinion.

Read more

Kirsten Dunst and Chloe Sevigny have no doubts about reuniting with filmmaker Lars von Trier.

Read more

A legal representative for Sony has said The Interview, starring Seth Rogen and James Franco, will be released.

Read more

Promoted content

We've got a great selection of Secret Santa presents and stocking fillers for under a tenner...  (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)

Office Secret Santa: it’s a Christmas ritual that everyone dreads, but no-one wants to seem like a Scrooge by saying no. Never fear, London24 is here to make buying gifts for Dave in Accounts simple and stress-free, with a selection of presents for under a tenner

Money saving Christmas gifts to add to your shopping list!

It’s nearly time to go on the hunt for Christmas presents, stuck on what to get for your nearest and dearest? We’ve picked out a selection of great deals to get you started and to help you save some pennies!

Top Stories

Quizzes

It's been a crazy year...

2014 is almost over, and we’re looking over the last 12 months of headlines all misty-eyed.

Read more
Rockin' Santa!

If the answer is yes then test your knowledge of Christmas songs with our quiz.

Read more
Can you name this former Tottenham player? Try our quiz and see if you can get 15 out of 15!

This fun new Tottenham quiz will test even the most devoted Spurs fans’ knowledge...

Read more