Cockneys, Zombies & Care Homes... Oh My!

11:26 09 November 2012

Cockneys Vs Zombies poster art

Cockneys Vs Zombies poster art

Archant

Imagine, if you will, Guy Ritchie making a zombie film. I know it’s hard but just try to imagine what it would be like. Now if that thought gets you all excited I have great news for you... It’s exactly like that.

Warning: Trailer contains quite a lot of swearing and ultra violence, as you would expect.

They should have just called it Lock, Stock & 2,000 Hungry Zombies and be done with it.

The plot: (what little there is of it).

Two inept brothers (Rasmus Hardiker and Harry Treadaway) and their not-so-inept cousin (Michelle Ryan) team up with two other misfits (Jack Doolan and Ashley Bashy Thomas) to rob a bank. Mid-robbery a zombie outbreak happens and high jinks ensue.

It isn't quite the A-Team. If I was to give them any type of classification they would be nearer to the middle of the alphabet - if not the end.

Their reason for embarking on this endeavour in the first place? For two of them the answer is simple: Money.

But for the brothers and cousin this isn't a matter of financial gain for themselves. They are doing it to ensure financial security for their granddad and his friends who are being kicked out of their retirement home (almost instantly this tells you which two members of the team are 'disposable').

Simple eh?

The absolute highlight of the film has also got to be the slowest chase scene in film history with old Hamish (Richard Briers) on his Zimmer frame trying to 'outrun' the shambling un-dead in the retirement home garden.

PS A little argument broke out in my family after watching this film over what film was better - this or Shaun of the Dead. I staunchly argued in favour for Shaun of the Dead but the rest of the family argued against. Zombie Philistines, the lot of them.

Summary: Crude but fun.

7/10

Trivia: Alan Ford has also 'starred' in a film called Strippers vs Werewolves - I must hunt this down!

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