The X Factor giant, Goldie eggs and some magic beans

16:22 03 October 2011

Johnny performing in Torrellea, Spain, during the judges

Johnny performing in Torrellea, Spain, during the judges' house section of The X Factor

Steve Brookstein gives his views on The X Factor as the final 16 acts are decided.

I missed The X Factor on Saturday as I was doing a gig in a town many miles from where I live to fans I never knew I still had.

Seven years after hitting what I mistook for the big time, I can still get people to come down to a show on the strength of a few performances and CDs from way back when.

I must add that halfway through the show I was heckled: “What happed to your career?” a guy shouted.

I joked that I would think of a retort at 3am that morning and if he came back next week I would tell him. I was actually impressed that he was willing to travel to the Arts Centre and pay £10 just to say that to me.

Anyway, this year’s X Factor finalists have no such worries and it’s quite an interesting bunch but sadly very young.

Unless drag queen Johnny pulls out a shocker I think I will remain the oldest person to win the show.

@CaitlinMoran of the Times tweeted: “Louis’s line-up looks like the cast of Toy Story”

There are two girls for the The Only Way Is Essex lovers (one will be eight months’ pregnant if she makes it to the final), a soldier for those who want to help a hero, a lesbian, a shy Irish girl, a drag queen, an ex-convict, some boy-bands for the teens and for a moment we had Goldie Cheung, the 50-year-old who brought what Louis would call the “fun” factor.

You wouldn’t know by the way they skipped over this story, but Goldie Cheung became the FIRST PERSON EVER to reject a place in the live finals of The X Factor.

Think about that. After months of auditions she has turned her back on the most exciting experience of her life. According to first reports, her husband had told her about the publicity she had been getting and it was clear that she was going to be this year’s Wagner.

Goldie was to be the joke act to be laughed at in between the average acts and the good acts who are getting groomed for record deals.

She would have made great TV even though it would have been at her expense. The press love her now but remember when Wagner became popular with those wanting to scupper the show? The Sun branded him a weirdo, a pervert, a sex pest and a bully.

The story broke last week that she turned down the opportunity but Goldie wasn’t allowed to comment. Instead an “insider” told the press that she didn’t like the cameras in the contestants’ house. However, Goldie has now spoken to the Official X Factor website and they say she left because she was …homesick. Really? And they didn’t get this on camera?

Surely if Goldie was homesick they could have filmed her crying and shown happy pictures of the children she missed followed by a slow-mo embrace with Louis Walsh and a track playing from Leona Lewis as she walked off into the distance.

The truth is, The X Factor is a drama and Goldie quitting on her dream because she realised she was being made a laughing stock would make for terrible television and an uncomfortable reality.

Oh well, we still have Johnny Robinson the drag queen to give us a laugh and I’m betting one week of being in the bottom two and he will throw on a frock and “tackle” some “ballsy” diva tunes. See what I did there? Just don’t wear a mini skirt Johnny!

So there we have it, 16 acts hoping for a career in the music industry, a giant record label hoping they have another goose to lay some golden eggs and I’ve finally thought of a comeback for my heckler.

What happened to my career? I traded it for magic beans.


By chance I caught a bit of The Xtra Factor. I saw The Risk being interviewed and then they showed a clip of one guy’s first audition.

Gary Barlow said: “It’s the most boring song you could have sung for us.”

The song he was referring to was also the song I sang for my first audition, A Song For You by Leon Russell. I have to take issue on this.

It has been recorded by Aretha Franklin, Donny Hathaway, The Carpenters, Nancy Wilson, Whitney Houston, Simply Red, Michael Buble, Gerald Levert, Elton John, Beyonce, The Temptations and James Taylor to name a few. It won a Grammy for Ray Charles in 1993. This song is far from boring. It is pure genius, a classic.

Now I know Gary has written some fantastic pop songs but maybe he is enjoying the Cowell role a little too much and it’s making his head a bit fuzzy.

A Million Love Songs was a B-side for Shayne Ward’s single No Promises.

That’s all I’m saying.

Related articles

Latest Stories

Yesterday, 18:25
The scene outside the Tesco the following morning. [Photograph by John Hercock]

A 58-year-old man was “tarred and feathered” while he lay intoxicated on a bench outside Tesco in Roneo Corner, Romford.

Read more
Yesterday, 15:01
This Scorpion sub-machine gun was found with a silencer and live ammunition [Photograph from Metropolitan Police]

A sub-machine gun complete with live ammunition has been taken off the streets of London.

Read more
Yesterday, 14:16
Three people were injured when the black cab crashed outside the Old Bailey  (Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images)

Three people have been rushed to hospital after a taxi driver crashed into a pedestrian and a cyclist outside the Old Bailey on Tuesday evening.

Read more

Top Stories


Imagine having your own idyllic house in the French countryside - and make it happen! [Photograph by Mike Simler]

Ever dreamed of living in a rural cottage in France with ivy round the door, chickens in your garden, and fresh croissants for breakfast from the local patisserie a short walk away in the nearby village?

Advanced running and training technology for beginners up to elite athletes

If you’re thinking of adding running treadmill to your fitness routine, you’re on the right track! There are several advantages to running on a treadmill versus running outdoors.


The Renault ZOE follows on from the introduction of the electric Fluence ZE and Twizy, but unlike the former, the ZOE was designed from the ground up as an electric vehicle.


Do you fancy yourself as a football ground know-it-all? Try our devilishly difficult quiz!

How well do you know your football stadiums? This brand new quiz from London24 will seperate the men from the boys...

Read more
Do you know your Thames truths from the porkie pies? (Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images)

So, you live (or work) in London, and you think you know the river well.

Read more
Diego Costa of Chelsea exchanges words with Cesc Fabregas (Photo by Chris Brunskill/Getty Images)

Chelsea have made several personnel changes over the course of the summer as they look to mount a squad that can challenge for the title.

Read more