Clock End Boy: Why I understand the concerns of Theo and the Ox

14:22 31 May 2012

Theo Walcott

Theo Walcott


“They fear for their loved ones and I don’t blame them.”

Panorama - hot on the heels of a ‘special’ Sky Sports News investigation - claims neo-nazism is thriving in Poland and Ukraine.

Footie fans have been saying this for years, of course. In fact we have KNOWN this for years. But we are stupid - or Untermenschen, as your neighbourly fascist might call us - and so we are constantly ignored.

I wouldn’t go out there to watch Arsenal or England if you paid me.

Uefa, run by the Chuckle Brothers, blanked common sense in favour of gross stupidity by awarding them the tournament.

Fifa are much the same, of course. That bloated, sweatmound of blubber, Sepp Blatter, dismissed racism last year.

No common sense, no self awareness, no real understanding of what it’s like to dodge bricks thrown by ‘passionate’ locals and being herded into cages by overzealous police on continential away days.

But then that lot awarded the World Cup to a desert, so what do you expect?

Two of our young lads - Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Theo Walcott - have the clear misfortune of being mixed race. Which means they’ve been forced to make the tough decision and tell their families to stay at home.

This isn’t a publicity stunt or a pointless gesture. They fear for their loved ones and I don’t blame them. Because Poland and Ukraine are culturally light years behind us.

I’d have done the same if my skin, and that of my families, was any darker than olive. They mean more to me than this total charade.

Italy, Spain, Poland, Ukraine, Greece, Russia . the list goes on of countries - our very near neighbours - who tolerate this utter crap.

And there is nothing we can do about it.

Meanwhile, in this stating-the-bleeding-obvious vein, those geniuses at our very own FA finally decide to do something about the fact the richest football nation on the planet is rubbish.

They’re going to scale everything down at kids’ level: pitches, goals, team sizes, balls. brilliant.

Possession and pace is what you need. And we obviously can’t do the first, while only the aforementioned Theo possesses the latter.

Back in 1995 Dennis Bergkamp watched aghast when he stumbled across a Sunday morning kids’ game being played on a full-size pitch. To a man schooled in the ways of Ajax, it must have looked so naïve, so utterly pointless and stupid.

The legacy of Charlie Hughes and his ilk remains the irregular heartbeat of English football.

But all of this silliness even pre-dates that mad old fool.

The great Malcolm Allison, a true footballing visionary under the façade of birds and booze, burnt his bridges at Charlton Athletic when he complained he hadn’t even seen a football during one training session.

Fed up with running up and down The Valley’s steep terraces, he blew a gasket, demanded to play a 5-a-side match instead, and was laughed at by his trainer.

That was in 1951.

Meanwhile, next week on Panorama: Pope Remains Catholic - Special Report And over on Sky Sports News: Bear Does His Business In The Woods - New Pics!

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